This is a compilation of classroom tidbits from 23 amazing people: garl_132, icelemon, kathrynnnn, splot22, bubbleland, tom111, 321daryl, panther_attack, roxxannee, charles754, meanmode, boohoo333, cacklingwitch, cogito090, purplepinkcloud, sammie78, qwertytrewq, veveme2, df_wenij, blargggh, ohnotoolate, randycandy, xxDolkxx and kathrina1107.
(P.S. If you’d like to be featured like that, forward your jokes to firstname.lastname@example.org.)
To protect the identify of the speakers, the names have been changed to alphabets :).
Kathryn: Jolie’s the class chair!
Melody: Then who’s the class table?
Tom: You know there’s a smurf that’s gay? He has a flower here -
Dick: Yea and he paints!
Angeline: After harvesting the rice, it becomes dry.
Mary: But there’s porridge!
Mrs Lee (teaching us algebra): Use the stripping method. If you don’t like Mrs Lee’s stripping method-
(whole class laughs)
Carol: I’ll rather not know.
Rebecca: Pamela, you look like Johnny Depp.
Pamela: But Johnny Depp is ugly!
Miss Dorothy: Today I tried very hard to be nice. I almost died.
Miss Dorothy: Some of you even wrote “teached” instead of “taught”.
Deborah: What’s wrong with “teached”?
Miss Lee: What’s the answer for question 1?
Class: Shifting cultivation.
Miss Lee: Question 2?
Class: Subsistence wet rice cultivation.
Miss Lee: 3?
Class: Commercial plantation agriculture.
Miss Lee: 4?
Class: High-tech farming.
Miss Lee: Wah… you all are really great… you mean all of you got it correct?
Class: You ran through it yesterday.
Mdm Bingham (after entering the class for the second time while class were mass changing): I have what you have. Mine better.
*this happened in an all-girls’ school.
Betty: Life is unfair. Get used to it.
Miss Lee: What?
Jennifer (without her belt, holding up her pinafore at the stomach area): Hey, look, I’m pregnant.
Laura: Boy or girl?
Miss Angelica: So we kicked his ball. Then we all wanted to play with it so he was running after his ball so that we could do it together.
Miss Lee: Okay, so after you did it, how do you derive pleasure from it? (P.S. this happened during English lesson, not Bio)
Miss Lee: Oh by the way “derive pleasure” isn’t a nice word either.
Joyce: Miss Lee, we didn’t think of it until you told us.
Miss Heather: Who do they use to harvest the tea?
Miss Lee: We have to wait for Cailyn to come back (from the toilet) because that girl is silly.
Miss Lee: I watch my prefects doing it very openly.
Mrs Julie: I was walking down a slope when suddenly a camel came up and kissed me. Well, the camel must have liked me a lot.
Ms Lee: Later I will have to change Irene and Wendy’s place. They are distracting me. They seem very good and self-disciplined, but together they are deadly.
Lori: Actually I understand but I also kind of don’t understand.
TEACHER: Stop making ugly faces at your classmates.
TEACHER: I’ve been told that if you keep on making ugly faces your face will stay like that.
STUDENT: I could tell you didn’t listen.
And the best…
(English – Mrs Edna: Can you help me pull it down?)
(She was referring to the SCREEN. What were you thinking?)