Archive for the ‘letters’ Category

absolutely mindless facts

31 May 2009

A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before  it starves to death.

A pig’s orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.

A snail can sleep for three years.

All Polar bears are left-handed.

American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one  olive from each salad served in first-class.

Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every  day.

An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.

Babies are born without knee caps. They don’t appear until  the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an  hour.

Butterflies taste with their feet.

China has more English speakers than the United  States.

Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he  doesn’t wear pants.

Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are  registered blood donors.

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for  pleasure.

If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be  39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall and have a neck twice the  length of a normal human’s neck.

If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough  gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

If you keep a goldfish in a dark room, it will eventually  turn white.

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would  have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their  bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.

Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

Marilyn Monroe had six toes.

Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than  all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.

No word in the English language rhymes with  month.

On average, people fear spiders more than they do  death.

One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today is because  cotton growers in the ’30s lobbied against hemp farmers, they saw it as  competition.

Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or  older.

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose  and ears never stop growing.

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer  than left-handed people do.

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

Starfish haven’t got brains.

Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left  hand.

The ant always falls over on its right side when  intoxicated.

The average human eats eight spiders in their lifetime at  night.

The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth 2, moves only six inches  for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is  attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male’s head  off.

The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

The name Wendy was made up for the book “Peter  Pan.”

The Pentagon, in Arlington, Virginia, has twice as many  bathrooms as is necessary. When it was built in the 1940s, the state of Virginia  still had segregation laws requiring separate toilet facilities for blacks and  whites.

The sentence, “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy  dog” uses every letter in the English language.

The shortest battle in history was between Zanzibar and  England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.

The word “lethologica” describes the state of not being  able to remember the word you want.

There are two credit cards for every person in the United  States.

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the  letters on only one row of the keyboard.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

You are more likely to be killed by a Champagne cork than  by a poisonous spider.

You can’t kill yourself by holding your breath.

You share your birthday with at least nine million other  people in the world.

the italian tomato garden

8 December 2006

An old Italian man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his tomato garden, but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent, I am feeling pretty badly because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to help me dig the plot.
Love, Dad

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Dad, Don’t dig up that garden. That’s where I buried the bodies. Love, Vinnie.

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Dad, Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances. Love you, Vinnie

a letter from india

20 September 2006

My dear Jagjit,
I am in a well here and hoping you are also in a well there. I’m writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast. We are not living where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20 miles.

I am not able to send the address, as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so they would not have to change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be able to take our earlier address plate here, and that our address will remain same too.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated right above the toilet. But I’m not sure it works too well. Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain, and haven’t seen them since.

The weather here isn’t too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.

The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.

Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery.

By the way, I took Bahu to our club’s poolside. The manager is Badmash. He told her that two piece swimming suit is not allowed in his club.
We were confused as to which piece we should remove?

Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven’t found out whether it is a girl or a boy, so I don’t know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.

Your uncle, Jetinder fell in the nearby toddy distillery. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he  burned for three days.

Your best friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fulfill his father’s last wishes. His father had wished to be buried in the sea after he died. And your friend died while in the process of digging a grave for his father.

There isn’t much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.

Love,
Mom.

P.S. : Jagjit, I was going to send you some money but by the time I realized, I had already sealed off this letter.


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